Allow me to be the first to welcome you to the grand left-wing conspiracy.

Presumably you've landed here thanks to the recent media boomlet (thank you, Washington Post) on your hero's efforts to spread the Mavericky Gospel far and wide by posting to prominent blogs.

And lucky us, Daily Kos is the leading liberal blog suggested by Walnuts.  So here you are.

I suspect most of the community will give you the same reception one would give a cockroach infestation, but I enthusiastically welcome you.

See, you're pissing in the wind here. We are the true believers. The Arizona Cardinals (Walnuts' favorite football team) have a better chance of winning the next 10 Super Bowls than you have of convincing a single Kossack to vote for Walnuts. The way I figure it, every minute you fritter away here is a minute you're not out spreading your crap on sites where you might actually reach undecided voters.

So by all means, welcome!  I hope you stay here until Election Day!

But if you're going to play with us, I'd ask that you keep a few things in mind:

How can I NOT spread the word about how great John McCain's ass backward policies will be for ruining this country for years, nay, DECADES to come?

I mean, all I have to do is sell out my soul, er, astroturf because there are no real McCain supporters out there, er, troll progressive blog sites, er, (swallows hard) proudly support a man who has done nothing really of note since coming back from Vietman, I mean, is hawking cheap crap on his campaign website if I promise to copy and paste talking points into blogs in the hope that even brainless people won't notice that I am a new user with no diary or commenting history.

Talk about an opportunity that can't be passed up....

The McCain campaign has a new program:  Just spread favorable McCain comments around the web, and you earn points leading to exciting prizes. Prizes such as a ride on the Dire Straits Express! It doesn't get any better than that. There's just one problem. The suggested favorable comments, or "talking points" to use the term of art, are extremely lame. One sample: John McCain has a comprehensive economic program. Yawn. The McCain camp needs much more exciting material to ignite the kind of grass roots fire they're aiming for. If the following items don't get me a ride with the McCain campaign, I'll be truly shocked:

Today Michael Carmichael wrote about problems the Democratic Party has encountered in August in the past.  I love history, and I immediately liked most of the article.  I thought the idea of Colin Powell as Vice President was interesting, although I question the logic that dictates how much Powell would bring to the ticket.  I am not qualified to judge Carmichael's statements, however.

Unfortunately Carmichael also discussed the daily popular voting polls in his article.  He referred to the General Election campaign as a "dead even horse race."  This struck me as irresponsible, and not just because today's polls have Obama coming in at five to six points ahead of Mr. Wrinkly.  More significantly I just read an article seconds before called "Electoral Math Charts Updated" by Chris Weigant.  Electoral votes, the ones that count, show Obama with a big lead right now.  ChrisWeigant.com provides daily updates on this.

More after the flip

Remember when John McCain offered his wife to a throng of drunken Harley enthusiasts as a contestant in a topless beauty contest?

McCain felt so comfortable at the event that he even volunteered his wife for the rally’s traditional beauty pageant, an infamously debauched event that’s been known to feature topless women.

“I encouraged Cindy to compete,” McCain said to cheers. “I told her with a little luck she could be the only woman ever to serve as first lady and Miss Buffalo Chip.”

Well apparently she decided to take the plunge. Make the jump to view the photo that will end John McCain's campaign and cause Cindy McCain's popularity in the all-important first lady likability polls to plummet.

(Warning: Debauchery and fakery awaits!)

Now that the McCain campaign has revealed the startling fact that the South Side of Chicago is actually a hotbed of elitism, it looks like we'll have to revise that Jim Croce classic, "Bad, Bad Leroy Brown".

Hit it, Jim!

"Well the South Side of Chicago
Is the baddest part of town
And if you go down there
You better just beware
Of a man named Leroy Brown Barack Obama"

(more after the jump)

Jets acquire Brett Favre

This is a story of unprecedented importance. The Favre era has now begun. Just like Broadway Joe, Brett will lead Gang Green to the promised land. Joe's deal with the devil has now expired. Meet the next superbowl champion team!!!!!

I like a good troll diary. When I see one with a lot of comments I jump right in loaded for bear. The first thing I do after reading the diary is see if they're foolish enough to put up a tip jar. But I've been really dissapointed at the quality of trolls we've been getting here lately at dkos. They just haven't been doing it for me.I expect to be outraged by a troll diary. But the ones I've seen in the past few weeks have been just plain dumb. Now I'm pretty dumb myself which is why I have a pretty extensive collection of "Dummies" books. There is a new Dummies book out written by Elmer Fudpucker, troll extrordinaire. I highly recommend this book for our troll friends. I have included an excerpt from chapter one.

Countless newshounds with dry eyes and sweaty palms hammering at their keyboards in a diligent cacophony hoping to be the first to catch the first utterance that spells the end of a political campaign.

ABC, NBC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, New York Times, Washington Post, USA Today, Gallup, Time, AP, Reuters, Slate, Drudge, Huffington Post -- all sources, all targets, for rage, shame, fear, laughter, hope, and "news".  

We hear about the "horse race" and its associated paraphernalia, be it tire pressure gauges, polling results, haircuts, shoes, racism, feminism, capitalism, communism, terrorism, religion... but none of this stuff really matters unless... (more after the fold)

I am an Obama supporter so this does pain me to report, but I am afraid the McCain campaign finally did catch Senator Obama in a clear case of the flip flops:

(AP) August 6, 2008, South Dakota, by Ron Fournier.  
GOP candidate John McCain, speaking today at the Sturgis Harley Davidson convention for the third consecutive day, revealed a new and seemingly accurate argument painting his opponent, Senator Barack Obama, as a "flip-flopper", reporting to the crowd at the outset of his prepared remarks, "My friends, we just learned that Senator Obama now claims to be 47 years old.  Last week, last month and even all the way back to the Iowa primaries, he said he was 46 years old.  That's what I call a flip-flop!  Friends, how can we believe this man on anything?"  The suprisingly sober crowd stared back at the Republican Senator and war hero, known for his maverickness, apparently stunned by the revelation.

I know.  When I first read it, I thought, "huh".  But I cannot figure any way around it either...let's go over the fold and follow the BREAKING story

Breaking:

Explosive new evidence that will guarantee that John McCain will lose the election and that Bush will be impeached before the election.
 It is potentially huge, and only certains things have to happen for it to really be THE GAME CHANGER!

This new evidence is so astonishing and so surprising that anyone who has clicked their way through  this headline-grabbing diary is certain to be salivating at the possibilities.  This new evidence will certainly be the key, that everything in this election will change, and polls will turn sharply to Obama and lead to Congress using the evidence to ensure accountability for all White House officials including Karl Rove, Dick Cheney, and George Bush.

What is this new evidence you might be wondering?  It is so new, so explosive that even such a bold headline such as this one is certain to live up to what some few might worry might be hyperbole, I can assure you, it is not!

In an exclusive conversation with anyone who cares to listen, we will be looking at John McCain's controversial connections with Irish extremists.  There are serious questions that John McCain has yet to answer, and since Sean Hannity and Bill O'Reilly are busy with the Muslims, someone has to raise these serious issues.

The silence of the liberal and conservative media on this subject just tells me that it's too hot for them to handle.  But as a courageous journalist in the spirit of Hannity and O'Reilly, today I will be taking a closer look at McCain's ties to radical Irish extremists.

Welcome to today's edition of the No Spin Zone.

So maybe the government had a good case against Bruce Ivins.  Maybe he actually did it.

But even if they are right, there are still a couple of really big questions that must be answered.

For one, what about Stephen Hatfill?  If the FBI had an unstable scientist with "delusional thoughts" and "paranoid" ideas, why was Hatfill still a person of interest after all these years? Maybe that's why the government settled a $6M law suit filed by Dr. Hatfill to clear his name.  It would be so embarrasing to have this kind of stuff come out in open court.

In politics, every pice of news is analyzed and judged based on its potential impact on the race. And while this piece is backfiring on McCain now, there's a lot more fallout to be felt.

Looks like the video response is causing real trouble for a lot of people.

I almost feel bad for the heiress. What else is she supposed to do?

Leaked Hilton Political Video Risks Stupid Slut Image

Four years after the premiere of the sex tape that launched her career and established her reputation as a simple-minded and self-absorbed floozy, a video in which hotel heiress Paris Hilton speaks with a surprising understanding of reality leaked to the internet threatens to undermine the carefully cultivated image she has worked so hard to attain.

Ruh roh. Read on:

So the latest rumor according to the Enquirer is that John Edwards has some kind of love child. But you know what? Who cares? It’s not like I would ever have voted for a guy who spends $400 on a haircut. Obviously he's off my list if he ever runs again at some point.

I need a president I can relate to. Someone I could drink a beer with, or enter my wife into a pickle sucking contest with.  

Not some pansy who spends hundreds of dollars for something he could've gotten for $20.

But seriously, how could I relate to an arugala eating elitist like Obama?

In a stunning new development, there have not been breaking news stories on the daily kos for over 5 hours now.

The trolling here has become so pathetic and unentertaining that I thought it would be a good idea to give a few pointers.

Remember, though McCain points are fleeting, a true master of trollery can become immortal in the eyes of the DK community.

Rush Limbaugh had a "blowout" on his radio show today -- apparently discouraged by international celebrity Barack Obama's willingness to risk American lives with impunity.

As a rule, Limbaugh said he does not like to spend time talking about "ridiculous" things, but today he felt it was his duty to point out that the centerpiece of Barack's energy policy -- tire inflation -- will lead to hazardous conditions across the nation.

Limbaugh, temporarily setting aside his self-professed "talent on loan from God," was uncharacteristically bloviatous, making no effort to hide his growing exasperation with Obama (whom Limbaugh refers to as "the messiah" because of Obama's elevated opinion of himself).

Limbaugh's initial concern was helping the public recognize that increasing air pressure in our tires would do nothing to immediately address our current oil shortage (in contrast to new oil drilling).

Putting air in our tires does not put gas in our tanks! We cannot inflate our way out of this [energy crisis]!